May 20, 2012

I love Texas

I do! Truly I do. But I spend a lot of time poking ribs because of our simultaneously disheartening and thoroughly entertaining political climate. Moly Ivins made a living and a lot of adoring fans for her most eloquent scalding of our home grown Texas politicians. Wish I was so eloquent. 

At time I've felt like my native state must surely be the cesspool of American politics, but then I learned about Mississippi, and finally I knew that we weren't first at being last! We were only second or third... or so... at being the worst... what does it say when you can't even be good at being bad?

But we aren't the worst. Outstanding! I thought ... we're good at something... but then suddenly South Carolina and Kentucky are on the radar. Damn! Do you mean that Texas is only 46th or 47th out of 50 in the running for the most confoundingly backward state in the union?

I'm certain that Mississippi, South Carolina and Kentucky are right proud of their ascendance into the ignorant-o-sphere of fundamentalism, and brag about their back-peddling on reason and scientific thought.

Critical thinkers we are not... we're proud of it... and by gawd we're gonna vote Republican so we can protect our right to be ignorant... damn it!

We're number one! We're number one! We're number... uh... last!

But slowly and stealthily, from the dark of night, a newcomer has crept up to vie for that number last spot on the dumbometer... and damn it they've done a fine job of it. We lost our crown, and now we must tuck our tails, Lick our wounds, whimper like puppies, and retreat back under the porch. 

Ladies and gentlemen, please let me introduce to you... the new winner (or looser depending on your perspective) of the most ignorant state in the union award ... the one and only...........