February 1, 2011

I figured there'd be trouble

For many years the Dallas Cowboys were known as God's Team.

Probably nobody would call them that today, because in early 1989 a hillbilly hick from Arkansas bought the team from Clint Murchison ... the only owner the Cowboys had ever known.

It was the flush heard round the world, and when I learned about it, I figured there might be trouble.

When the hick fired legendary Cowboy coach Tom Landry he did it on live, national television. The whole world learned of Tom's fate before the hillbilly actually told Tom …

After that I knew there would be trouble.

The hick’s choice for Tom's replacement was Jimmy Johnson ... a coach barely competent enough to shine Tom's shoes.

Johnson actually took the team to a couple of Super Bowls … but it was a team Tom built, and as the Landry influence ebbed and Tom's talented players moved on or retired, success became elusive.

So the hick fired Johnson, replacing him with disgraced OU Sooner coach Barry Switzer. He barely made three seasons.

Subsequent hires found success just as elusive and job security nonexistent. Hillbilly has hired and fired six since 1996, but to no avail. The plowboys just keep on losing.

God’s own team hasn’t made a Super Bowl appearance in 16 years ... perhaps because for the past 26 years the team has suffered under the clueless guidance of a bumbling fool from Little Rock ... an arrogant clod who won't get out of the way and let professionals run the show.

... but at least while at Tom's House in Irving, God had a premium seat ...

... which lasted until 2010 when our good ol’ hillbilly demolished the venerable edifice that had seen Tom’s teams go to 27 post-season playoffs, win 18 NFC East championships, appear in ten Super Bowls, and take home five Lombardi trophies.

Tom Landry died 12 years almost to the day from when Jerry Jones humiliated him on national television. Texas Stadium is gone. Jerry Jones has no talent and even less class, but he won't leave.

The hick tore down God's Stadium and built one with a lid on it. The team moved this season to that gawdawful Chrome Cockroach in Arlington ... and they're still losing.

Now the Super Bowl is in town, but God lost his front row seat, and he apparently ain't happy about it.



Old NFO said...

Um... Jerry Jones??? Almost as bad as Snyder in DC...