January 5, 2009

Small Economy Joke...

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
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BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex
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VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower
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STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock
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STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves
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FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected
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MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks
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CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
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LONG TERM INVESTOR - Another name for a delusional person
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LONG TERM INVESTMENT STRATEGY -- What you tell your wife so she doesn't try to do a stock split
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WALL STREET -- America's version of the Vatican. It physically exists in our country but it does not have to obey our laws
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RECESSION -- You're neighbor is out of work
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DEPRESSION -- You and you're neighbor are out of work
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DEEP DEPRESSION -- You're Viagra doesn't work
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DEEP DEEP DEPRESSION -- You can't afford Viagra
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G7 -- Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, United Kingdom, United States
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G1 -- China

3 Comments:

Rogue Medic said...

Nothing to get hammered over.

jeg43 said...

Heh!

MiniKat said...

That's awesome!