April 20, 2010

Persian Pat

First there was Arizona pastor Steven L. Anderson promoting hatred and advocating violence against President Obama.

In January, following the devastating earthquake in Haiti, I penned a piece about Pat Robertson’s idiotic assertion that god was punishing the Haitians for a century-old pact with the devil.

Then when Pennsylvania Congressman John Murtha died, California religionista Wiley Drake took credit, saying that he had prayed for Murtha's death, and that god had answered those prayers.

Now in his Friday morning prayers, senior Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi blamed all of the recent Earth shaking on Muslim sluts.

Who would have ever thought that sex fuels earthquakes?

Religionistic loons being what they are, we all knew that it was only a matter of time before some pompous pinhead stepped up to the plate to assign all of this seismic activity to the vengeance of god... this loon did, and by god, this gives me an idea.

Iran is positioned in one of the more seismically activity regions on the planet, we seem to be entering a period of increasing activity, so they are expecting more of the same.

It therefore follows that if loose women cause quakes, even I should be able to get a date in Tehran. As soon as the dust settles I think I’ll book a flight…

Oh wait! Nordic chicks are hot. I wonder what precipitated the Icelandic volcanic event!



Old NFO said...

Personally I think it was the closing of the strip clubs in Reykjavik... All that 'stress' had to be let off somehow...

montag said...

At least the mullah makes sense geographically. Rush the Talking Pig said the Iceland volcano that shut down Europe was God's punishment for the US HIR bill. Somebody get Rush a map, which is flat, no globes please.

Mule Breath said...

Guess I missed buttboy's comment. Not that I pay any attention to him... ever

EMSNetwork said...

Your critical thinking astounds me!!

Anonymous said...

I needed a giggle, thanks. Sometimes I think the world is getting stupider by the second...but hey, Rush and his pals in religion have a big head start.

Rogue Medic said...

Who would have ever thought that sex fuels earthquakes?

Having moved to San Francisco just before the 1989 earthquake, the ex and I did consider that we were possibly contributing to the seismic activity in Baghdad by the Bay. Nobody else seems to have attributed any blame to us. Not even Pat 666 + 34 Robertson nor Rush Do these Percocets make my butt look big Limbaugh.

Muslim sluts? Is it the eye liner? The blue eye shadow? The lack of panty lines? The burkha built for two? How can you tell?